'Bride Wars' Lacks Bite and Laughs

Anne Hathaway and Kate Hudson Desperately Mug But Can't Save Comedy

Feb 2, 2009

January is the worst time for movie releases; case in point with the mediocre 'Bride Wars,' which at least isn't the embarrassing disaster it easily might have been.

Inseparable and obsessed with weddings since childhood, school teacher Emma (the gorgeous Anne Hathaway) and lawyer Liv (Kate Hudson, upstaged by some unflattering bangs) get engaged to their boyfriends one day apart. Both women, who have always dreamt of marrying in New York's Plaza Hotel and being the other's maid of honor, have their nuptials booked on the exact same day by an inept wedding coordinator. It's not quite clear what the whole fuss is about, but when neither will budge to re-schedule the wedding date, get ready for the pair of bridezillas to rumble!

The sorostitute-like battle escalates: we get Emma sending a formerly obese Liv chocolate truffles and cookie baskets from the International Butter Club so she won't fit into her Vera Wang wedding gown (what nerve!); and both brides-to-be switch the other's hair and tanning dyes.

What could have been a darkly funny War of the Roses between rival brides is contrived, unfunny, and strident. Director Gary Winick and the three writers don't really find any life or mirth in this "war" and even throw on a predictably mawkish "truce"/resolution and possibilities for a sequel . . . Baby Wars maybe? The movie never knows if it wants to be a black comedy or a movie that wants to deal with marriage and friendships (as Candice Bergen needlessly narrates throughout), but fails at both. At a laborious 90 minutes, it's a catty farce noticeably without humor, just boring, immature pranks, and a PG-rated catfight without fangs.

Hathaway and Hudson are probably likable in real life, and seem to be having a blast on screen, but the fun doesn't really communicate to those watching. These two women are presented as babbling idiots, setting the view of women back nearly a century. Called obnoxious and overbearing by her own beau of all people, Hudson's Liv is just that. And Hathaway's Emma is simply a nice girl lowering herself.

The hubbies-to-be (Steve Howey, Chris Pratt) are non-entities, as their brides take the stage and the grooms just stand to the side. Kristen Johnston gets a few one-liners in edge-wise as the principal of Emma's school, who ends up being her makeshift maid of honor. Bergen as a famous wedding planner seems to be playing the same character she has for the past few years but lacks her usual wit.

If you have something better to do, do it. In other words, cancel your date with Bride Wars.

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